shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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