girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
