That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
