So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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