Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
In America we eat man semen.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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