worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
