bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize