4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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