The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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