I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize