I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
