I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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