Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize