I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
