ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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