420 ftw
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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