we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
