franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
