There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
