forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize