dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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