Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
