I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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