I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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