We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
