A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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