I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're too hungover to prance.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
