Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize