it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So vagazzling was a success
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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