I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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