Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
