You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
