I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
As shirtless as possible
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
