the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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