Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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