I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
