i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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