He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
