I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
