Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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