Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
