dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
