I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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