i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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