i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
