Three words: puerto rican gang bang
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
