i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
