I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
