i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
