Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
