Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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