Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
