I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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