I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Duck Duck Cougar?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
