you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im holly from the hills drunk
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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