i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
