I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
